Finally, I've been having issues with this site and unable to post.
That being said, Saturday I went to a baby shower. It was for a girl whose husband works with Billy. Apparently, when you get married, you get invited to baby showers and such. I think it's a ploy to get you to become one of them - the pregnant woman.
I show up and really the only person I knew was the expectant mother. Oh wait, did I mention that 3 of the 4 other guests were also pregnant? Yes, it seems that pregnant women stick together and they were trying to suck me into their baby world!
There was one other girl there when I arrived, but she was sitting on the couch and I couldn't really tell that she was prego. Then a second girl arrived and after a minute or two, I figured out that she was also "with child" So, we are all sitting there and girl #1 mentions her shower that was held recently and that is when it dawns on me that she is pregnant as well. The last girl shows up and, yeah, you guessed it! PREGGERS!! I felt like a cat that stumbled into a dog pound. I was seriously out of place.
Did you know that pregnant women have their own language? They ooh and ahh at onesies and binkies. They talk about cocoa butter and sonograms. They praise the man who invented the epidural. If anything being invited to that party, sealed the deal that I NEVER want to have children. Not never, like I never want to get married, but then did anyway. Never as in, no way in hell, forget it Jack!! They don't make bunker gear in maternity sizes. I have no time for it, much less do I want to put my body through that pain and misery. So much do we not want to have children that my husband, dear sweet man, went to the doctor and got the "snip-snip" and I am on birth control.
God bless the women who have babies, but honey, it ain't for me!!
2 comments:
Oh, you make me laugh....
And no there is no maternity bunker gear. And good luck finding it big enough to close around your waise but still not being so long that youre dragging it everywhere!
Amen sister! I feel the exact same way you do! You should try being a military spouse - pregnant women everywhere! I swear it's in the water. Plus, most folks are having 3 or more babies - I guess you have to get new recruits from somewhere! I also hate when I say I don't want kids and people go,"how old are you?" and I say "32" and they're like "oh, you still have time..." Aaaah! Drives me nuts. Then they assume that if you don't want kids you hate all children. It's just not true, I like kids. I just don't want my own - the idea of being responsible for someone else for the rest of my life (because let's face it, it doesn't really end when they turn 18) is not at all appealing for me. Plus, being in the military the religious, military doctors refuse to give Chris a vasectomy because he's "too young". However, they will tie my tubes - a way more serious procedure!Craziness - we haven't gone that route yet. We're thinking when Chris turns 30 they'll give him a snip snip. Super funny blog - loved it!
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